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Mike iLL

| | | — | | I’m 37 years old, HIV positive with hepatitis C. Take 19 pills a day, ‘a coctail’ twice a day at meals. My grandmother stuck a gun in her mouth when I was nine. Dad used to throw hammers at me, narrowly missing so as not to encur hospital bills. Mom was addicted to speed when she carried me. Grew up in a poor neighborhood in the New Orleans area; Gypsie and American Indian roots, mixed with Irish. I was fucking all the boys in the neighborhood by third grade. Really liked it. My friends dad raped me. At 18 a woman helped me become a painter. I paint for myself. Sell pieces sometimes. I love to teach, work with ghetto kids. In these projects here, there were eight homicides last year alone. (There isn’t a front door on a single building, and 50% of the windows are boarded up.) They were supposed to be a place for people to stay temporarilly ‘till they got back on their feet. They couldn’t get out. I might make 40.

I hate this place. So nice to meet a fellow yankee. This is a good place to live if your broke. I’m so fuckin’ sad. I don’t know what I want. I like poetry, music and art. I’m only good at one thing, and I can’t tell you what that is. I suck guys dicks. No, not for money, I just like it. All different guys. All my friends know it, and it makes me feel so bad. I suck their dick and they cum and then they leave and I feel so empty. I know; it’s (pause) different. I don’t know what to do. My boyfriend left me. Do you know how hard it is to find somebody you really like? I hate this place.

I can projectile orgasm ten times in a row. Do it at parties for kicks and dough. Strangers lick my pussy and I love it. Love the attention. Sometimes they even know what they’re doing.

What a great country. New Orleans, Shreveport, Dallas, Houston… Went to a casino in Houston with a couple of restaurant workers and watched them blow their days earnings. Place was full of miserable fiends. Drink for free. Pay later. I pissed two bucks into the mouth of slot machines. Pulling a lever is fun? These cool punk rockers live there with their band The Picts. He studies philosophy and she goes to school as well. They have $40.00 in the bank. The drummer fucks every girl who asks. Got a big heart.

Soy Mexicano. Vivo en Houston y gusto mi vino. I hang in the parking lot with my red-faced friends. Barely speak a lick of english. Me llamo Jesus. Write that down. Smile, Mike iLL |

24/04/2000